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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Tar and Feathers

On the line today I got to thinking about Rabinovitch, and Stursberg, and yes, our old pal Smith too (you know, the guy from the Matrix), and my thoughts wondered, as they are wont to do whilst circling buildings ad infinitum on cold, blustery days, and I thought, gee, here we are just politely picketing, writing, advocating, bus riding, demonstrating and so on while they continue to stick it to us (and the Canadian public) day after day.

A couple of hundred years ago we would have just run them out of town. But not before a good ol' fashioned tar and featherin'.

Here's what Wikepedia has to say on the matter of tarring and feathering:

"Tarring and feathering was a typical punishment used to enforce justice in feudal Europe and its colonies, as well as the early American frontier. Both tar used in construction and feathers from edible fowl sources (e.g. chicken) were plentiful in the middle and western United States where the practice primarily flourished. The idea was to hurt and humiliate a person enough so they would leave town and cause no more mischief. Hot tar was either poured or painted on to a criminal while he (rarely she) was immobilized. If the tar is hot enough to burn the skin, it is a regular form of corporal punishment, otherwise it mainly falls into the category public humiliation."

Now, I'm not saying that we should (necessarily) resort to such means to deal with the aforementioned nincompoops, I'm just saying that the concept crossed my mind whilst thinking about them, sort of a "word association" type thing:

"What pops into your mind when I say Rabinovitch?"

"Tar."

"How 'bout Stursberg?"

"Feathers."

"Smith?"

"Tar AND Feathers."

Were the practice still in vogue today we would simply have tarred and feathered the bastards by week three and have been done with it. With few if any problems with subsequent senior managers, I would imagine.

Although one cannot help but yearn for the halcyon days of tarring and feathering, we live in a civilized age now (frequent genocides and a curious dearth of binding arbitration notwithstanding) and must perforce devise civilized means to settle our disputes (lest we wind up serving time in some other Canadian institution...)

So I'm thinkin' corn syrup and Rice Krispies instead.

Who's in?

3 Comments:

Blogger Aigle De Nuit said...

Hey Bee,

Oh Yeah, I'm in. In fact, I have an addition to your recipe?

I now have a huge bottle of temporary red hair dye that I won't use.

Blood red...Big bottle..it could fully stain several people...six at least.

It'd take Days to get off...

Cover them in it!

10:31 AM  
Blogger Cin said...

I'm in, so long as we then take them to the local animal shelter for the pets to lick off said syrup and cereal.

11:41 AM  
Blogger cbcworkerbee said...

Aigle and Cindy... big red hair dye and animal shelter licking... perfect! Although it might make the animals sick though, licking those guys. Hmmm....

1:34 PM  

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