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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

A Conversation With Mr. P.

Mr. Prime Minister, I beg of you. Please consider someone from the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation's rank and file for the post of CBC President.

No, Mr. Prime Minister, I'm not kidding. 'Cause it has to be someone who understands what it is that we do. Not some neo-con with dollar signs for pupils. Oh yes, Mr. P, I am well aware that Canada's public broadcaster must be fiscally responsible. But that does not mean that it has to APPEAR to be efficient at the expense of ACTUALLY being efficient.

Yes, Mr. P., I do apologize for the caps; I realize that caps constitutes shouting in blogland. It won't happen again, I promise.

You see, Mr. P., if the President of the CBC doesn't know anything about broadcasting, if he or she doesn't understand at a fundamental level what it is that we do, then it is difficult if not impossible for us to work together. We can't relate to the President and the President can't relate to us. Yes, that most certainly is the case right now. We're at cross purposes, you see; the current President wants one thing and we want another. We want to be able to broadcast quality programs to the Canadian taxpayer and he wants only to destroy public broadcasting in this country, depriving of us of our livilihoods in the process, quite possibly resulting in the starvation of our children and that of our pets too, poor little puppies, kittens, hamsters...

I beg your pardon, Mr. P., but as you can see I'm quite emotionally invested in all of this; why I myself have a pet iguana that very nearly expired during the last labour dispute... or was it the one before that...?

Yes Mr. P, I will try to stay focussed. You see, being fiscally responsible is not wrong. But being fiscally responsible at the expense of doing what it is that we're supposed to be doing defeats the entire purpose! Forgive me, sir, but we are in the business of broadcasting, to Canadians for Canadians. A high standard of broadcasting, I might add, considerably higher than what taxpayers are currently getting for their money.

This whole lockout just proves my point. If the President cared a whit about quality broadcasting, then that's what we would be doing right now. It's what we would have been doing all along, especially during Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath. We would be broadcasting quality programs WHILE negotiating... I mean, have you heard that the President's not even going to let us back in to work until AFTER an affirmative ratification?

Oh you have heard that.

From Tod Maffin's blog.

I see.

Yes, Mr. P, I do apologize for the caps again. But alas, it is clear to me that the current President does not care a whit about providing quality broadcasting to Canadian taxpayers.

Yes, Mr. P, I use the word "alas" in ordinary conversation all the time.

No I did not know that it dated from the year1260, and was originally an expression of weariness rather than woe. I daresay both definitions are applicable today.

So, Mr. P., that is why I think we need a President from within the ranks of the CBC. We need someone who appreciates and understands our culture, someone who can foster our morale, who cares passionately about public broadcasting, and who may be relied upon to run a tight ship with a firm hand on the tiller.

No, thank YOU, Mr. P.

I look forward to chatting again.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

BEE-UU-TEE-FULLL! Caps and all :)!

9:11 AM  
Blogger oakwriter said...

Nice post, cbcworkerbee.

Yes, the general should know the strain of living in the trenches. How else can he/she assign troops effectively?

Similarly, I've met entrepreneurs who learned more in their first year of business than most B.Comm grads learn during four years of university.

10:45 AM  

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