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Friday, August 26, 2005

The Latest

The second latest rumour was that we may be nearing a return to the negotiating table. The very latest rumour is that returning to the negotiating table may be pointless and therefore we shouldn't get our hopes up.

Another rumour, put forth by Quietly Typing Charlie the alleged Manager, is that CBC may be making some kind of big announcement next week. CBC Radio's Executive Producer of DNTO (when not locked out) Iris Yudai may have scooped Quietly Typing Charlie, however; this big announcement may be that Rabinovitch is on his way out (partially) and that soon CBC will have a new President of the Board, info that Yudai learned from Heritage Minister Liza Frulla. More on this on at Tod Maffin's site (but you already knew that, coming as you did with an 88% probability from that very site).

So as we wait for more interesting developments we while away the time asking ourselves the Really Big Questions. Questions like, are the three Lockout Blogs authored by Managers really authored by Managers? The blogs in question are the abovementioned Charlie, The Tea Maker, aka Ouimet, and Rue, which I believe is short for Ruthie, who has to date posted but one measly post (ah, but it was a long one).

There are, no doubt, those who might say (with no small amount of scorn) "who cares?" but I do not number among those. A good number of us are addicted to following the Lock Out and in the absence of interesting developments we must occupy ourselves somehow (to the neglect of children, lawns, nutrition and personal hygiene). So I propose a simple test to determine if these alleged managers are in fact bona fide managers. Something along the lines of a Turing Test, which, you might recall, was devised to determine whether alleged artificial intelligences are in fact artificial intelligences or simply humans posing as artificial intelligences. I call this test (rather immodestly) The WorkerBee test, and it should suffice to reveal whether the managers in question are managers or simply humans posing as managers.

The test consists of three easy questions. I submit that if the managers refuse to answer the questions there is a strong probability that they are posing as managers. Same if they get one or two of the questions wrong. If all responses are correct, they are almost certainly real life managers, perhaps even CBC managers. This test, based on virtually zero research, should be correct 99 out of a 100 times, except on Thursdays, and does not require that the blogger in question reveal their identity.

Question One: Which is more important to you: Public Broadcasting, or your own neck?

Question Two: Name four pieces of (alleged) art located on the seventh floor of the Broadcast Centre.

Question Three: If required by Senior Management, would you fire your own mother?

Correct answers: Well, heck if I know, I'm not a manager, I'm just a workerbee. Speaking of which, if anybody has any better questions, please lemme know. Surely between 5500 of us we can ferret out the truth.

2 Comments:

Blogger Tod Maffin said...

Hi - thanks for the nice plug! :) In the interests of accuracy, Iris is the executive producer of DNTO, not a reporter... and the job position is for Chairperson of the CBC Board, not President.

9:03 PM  
Blogger cbcworkerbee said...

Thanks for the clarifications, that was a pretty glaring error on my part. I've fixed it in the original post, hopefully got it right this time. You deserve all the plugs you can get. Thanks for the great site!

10:32 PM  

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